A Safe Place for Cutters Blog


Do You Feel Like a Failure?
September 28, 2009, 22:03
Filed under: Coping Skills | Tags: , ,

Michael JordenEvery once in a while someone in my group, A Safe Place for Cutters,* will complain that after so many years they cut again.  As one cutter said after such an episode, “it’s gonna be hard to keep it on the straight and narrow now.” I disagree.

Failure is not a bad thing. Failure is actually a good thing, so long as it doesn’t become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Failure is, in fact, the Supreme Teacher, and action is the matriculation fee that allows you to enroll in the Supreme Teacher’s class.

To develop any complex skill such as managing urges to cut, you must be willing to make mistakes and endure failures. The faster you can make those mistakes and suffer those failures, the quicker you will master the skill.”

That reminds me of something basketball great Michael Jordan once said: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

“Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.”

-John Dewey

To A Life Worth Living,

Foresteen Forbes, Psy. D.

*If you would like to be a member of my Facebook group “The Safe Place for Cutters,” please find me on Facebook and invite me to be your friend.  Click here!



Proven Steps to Stop Those Powerful Urges
September 13, 2009, 21:53
Filed under: Tools

SocratesA young woman who is a member of my private group for cutters in Facebook* wrote to tell me how proud she was that she had not cut herself for three months. I love to hear stories of progress and asked her what had helped her stop cutting herself for so long. She replied that outside of having been hospitalized for that amount of time she was not sure. An alarm went off in my head. If you do not understand why you do a certain behavior or why you have stopped for a period of time you are doomed to repeat it. As the ancient Greek philosopher Plato once said, “Know thyself.” It is really important that you understand yourself in order to stop a self destructive behavior.

In an earlier blog, I discussed my use of the Chain Analysis of Behavior with my individuals at the state hospital. On my resource page, you will also find a taped interview of me discussing this. This is a great way to learn why you do what  you do and what helps you to stop behavior that harms you and sets you back. It is not a one time use of it that will make the difference but the repeated use of it over time. In other words, every time you cut yourself, don’t beat yourself up. Look at it as a sign that there is something you need to learn and do a Chain Analysis. Over time you will come to understand yourself better and better.

Another ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates once proclaimed, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

To A Life Worth Living,

Foresteen Forbes, Psy. D.

*If you would like to be a member of my Facebook group “The Safe Place for Cutters,” please find me on Facebook and invite me to be your friend. Click here!